Becoming a Mom.

Theo is two and half weeks old today!  I can't believe how time flies, and how this sweet little man has already stolen our hearts and filled our home with more love than I could ever have imagined.  Throughout my entire pregnancy, I simply felt like I was getting bigger and increasingly uncomfortable as my due date came... and went.  I kept wondering when this giant bump I was carrying around would feel real, and I would realize the baby growing in me was the baby that Thayne and I would take home from the hospital and welcome into our lives as our first child.  

My pregnancy was exciting.  I felt grateful I was able to work up to 37 weeks, I traveled to Europe with my family for two weeks when I was 28 weeks along, and felt great.  It wasn't really until the last 4 weeks of my pregnancy I started to feel tired.  It was suddenly as if someone had stolen all my energy.  We did as much planning and prepping for our baby as we could before he arrived.  Shopping for our baby, making space for a crib, a bassinet, a swing, a glider, a stroller, a changing table, a dresser, and other accessories was exciting and new, but none of that could really prepare me for becoming a mother.  For nine months I felt my belly and watched it grow, I talked to it, I sometimes sang to it, and I thought I knew our little babe then.   Little did I know just how much I would fall in love with this little guy the moment he was born and handed to me.  During my entire labor I still wondered what to expect, and how would I feel when Theo was finally here?  When it was finally time to push, it hit me that I would be meeting baby Theo within the hour.

At 4:05am on Wednesday August 7 2013,  I was overcome with one million emotions (most of which are still hangin on) as Theodore was handed to me by Thayne and his swollen blue eyes looked up at me as he rested on my chest.  Right then it hit me.  I am his mom.  My son is looking at me.  I get to care for this sweet baby.  It was surreal.  I couldn't believe it, and still can't sometimes.  This baby is ours.  This was the moment I'd been anxiously awaiting since we'd found out we were pregnant back in November 2012.  

I am blown away by how much I already love this little babe and how he completes our family more than I could have ever imagined.  Suddenly I find myself constantly worrying (understatement) about anything and everything related to him.  Is he eating enough? Is he pooping enough? Should I change his diaper now or wait a little longer?  Is this water too warm, or is it too cold?  Is he cold?  Should I put another blanket on him? This is all before I start thinking about his future.  Who will his friends be?  Will they be good people?  Will we have taught him what he needs to know to be successful?  Will he be strong and stick to what his own values and beliefs?

And then I realize... this is what it feels like to be a mom.  This is what motherhood is all about.  My own mom did it five times, so that means she has five kids to worry about forever.  I imagine the feeling is similar for dads.  We're only two and a half weeks in, and I'm already learning just how special and hard parenting can be.  There is nothing I would rather be doing.  I know I have a lot to learn.   

I am so excited to take Theo with us everywhere we go.  I can't wait to show him the world, take him to Disneyland, let his dad introduce him to all his favorite sport teams, play with his cousins, go golfing with his Grandpa and uncles, and so much more.  We love you Theo, and are so happy you're finally here!

Photo Creds: Amy Morby and Christine Olson - they're simply the BEST!